It’s been almost four months since my stroke. Some say it’s a detour, others an initiation. Whatever it is, it’s a grand disruption. What I thought was going to be a sprint, in my recovery, has turned into marathon. As I go to all my various therapies, I ache to be back to normal. But, the normal I knew doesn’t exist. My brain is literally being rewired. I am in the in-between. In between the old and the new.

Similarly, maybe the pandemic is a detour or humanity’s initiation. It definitely is a grand disruption on a global scale. One of historic proportions. It, too, has turned into a marathon instead of a sprint. So many us are asking, “When it go back to normal?” It won’t, because what we thought of as normal doesn’t exist.

My friend was commenting the other day, “I don’t know how I’m paying my bills. It doesn’t make sense. I keep trying to find a pattern to understand it, but I can’t. ”

My response was, “That’s because you are looking for patterns based on what you have known in the past. They are not there. You have to see in a new way, those patterns are outdated.”

It is disconcerting, to say the least, when the world as we know it is gone. As the systems break down around us, our collective and individual brains are being rewired. We are all in the in-between. In between the old and the new.

The truth is, big change can’t happen without disruption that’s sustained enough for a disconnect from the familiar. It’s stressful. There is grief. There is anger and frustration. There is anxiety and fear. It’s tiring, very tiring. New neural pathways take time and a lot of energy.

In finding meaning in the experience, I have to assume there is a greater power at hand forcing me to create a life that is even better than I could know. We have to hold the intention for the same for the world. A world that is better than we could know.

What has sustained me in all of this? Lingering in moments of joy! Particularly, hanging out with the ducks.

P.S. Stay tuned for news about my book, “Money, Come Dance With Me.”  For all those who've been patiently waiting, I had a bit of a detour. Hopefully, I'll be able to launch it sooner than later.